Supporting two households is more expensive than maintaining just one. And times can be pretty tight in Dad and Stepmom’s house until the kids are grown, whether you make more money than your husband or not.
It can be easy for a stepmom to feel the resentment build if she and her husband are struggling because of her husband’s financial responsibility to his first family. If this is the case, you’re most likely going to have to decide what compromises you are willing to make for the greater good of your family.
This is where your long-range planning and goal-setting skills can really come in handy. Sit down with your husband and figure out exactly how much it costs for you, him, and the kids to live in your house each month. Then tally up his separate expenses and yours.
Figure out how long the money going out to the other house is going to affect your financial picture. Envision the life you want when you retire and how you’ll finance it. Then you have three choices:
1. Your husband can work to make more money.
2. You can work to make more money.
3. You can both spend less.
Marie dealt with her husband Grant’s financial obligations by practicing acceptance and maintaining her own income. “I made the decision to marry Grant knowing his financial arrangement with his ex. My husband had to meet his obligations. He had to financially support his son. So we had to calculate everything else based on that. I always made my own money, so I never had to rely on Grant’s income. I still support myself.”
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