It’s not uncommon for new stepmothers to be involved in legal battles between households during their first year of marriage—battles regarding requests for more child support and fights over custody or visitation. Sometimes this happens because a couple doesn’t wait long enough to marry and Dad is still working out postdivorce arrangements with his ex.
If your man is in this position, consider postponing the wedding until everything is worked out. It will make your life easier. Sometimes, no matter how long ago they worked out their agreements, an ex will decide to take a man back to court. Talk about upping the stress-o-meter. Sometimes, however, legal battles can have a bonding effect on a man and his new wife if they feel that they’ve been in the trenches together and have come out stronger.
That’s what happened to Sue, a manager at an electronics retailer, and her husband, Matt. Sue was in graduate school for her M.B.A. when she met Matt, who was divorced and had two young children, a boy and a girl. The couple dated for five years before they married.
Sue remembers the ugly custody battle with her husband’s ex-wife after the ex moved to another state with their two kids and a boyfriend who was abusing the children. “We do look back and say, ‘Look at what we made it through together,’” she says. “There’s a lot about the legal world that is not fair.
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