At this point, the laws are determined by the state you live in, and they have come into existence one at a time as issues arose. The fact that we have no legal protection or standing is a major slam for our confidence in creating a new family.
So what to do? First, find out what this means for your specific family situation. Second, make sure your papers are in order—prenuptial, postnuptial, will, legal guardianship, life insurance—and are prepared by a lawyer who knows stepfamily law. Margorie Engel has done extensive work with stepfamilies on the issues of law and finances.
“Most lawyers do not seem to truly understand there is a major difference between first families and stepfamilies.
A lot of damage is being done to stepfamilies. I was horrified at what kind of advice financial advisers who didn’t know what they were talking about were giving stepfamilies. They were designing wills and trusts based on first-family dynamics.
They weren’t even asking the right questions.” For more information, visit the National Stepfamily Resource Center website at www.stepfamilies.info.
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